"A dear friend of the family passed away almost three months ago. Fran was like an elderly aunt to me and my older sister Ruthie, and it has been hard for me to process the loss. I’ve reached out to Ruthie to talk about it, but she doesn’t want to. How do I get Ruthie to talk about Fran?'

“I’m writing about my older sister. We always did things together, but ever since she married a few years ago, she doesn’t have time for me. We still live in the same town, but now she’s “too busy” to go to the park or even meet for coffee outdoors.”

“A dear friend of the family passed away almost three months ago. She was like an elderly aunt to me and my older sister Ruthie, and it has been hard for me to lose her. I’ve reached out to Ruthie to talk about it, but she apparently doesn’t want to. In hindsight, I can see that Ruthie never really wanted to talk about her feelings. We had a difficult relationship growing up and as we grew, I learned to hide it when I had strong opinions about something or really wanted to do something Ruthie didn’t. Now, I want to talk about Fran, but Ruthie will have none of it.”

“My sister Cate used to be a pretty trusting, optimistic person. I love my sister but have noticed over the years that she seems more likely to assume the worst in a given situation, rather than the best. She doesn’t trust anyone or anything anymore (except her six cats) and appears really frightened about what’s going on in the world these days. Is there any way I can help her return to some version of her trusting, optimistic self?”

“A supervisor at my brother’s company is retiring in the spring and Jim has been asked to apply for his job. My concern is that Jim is someone who has always loved starting things or making them better, and spends a lot of time in his current position doing just that. In a more supervisory position, I’m concerned that “hands-on” will be seen as interfering or controlling in a job where he’s just supposed to support ongoing operations. How do I talk him out of this change?”

“I’m writing because I’m concerned about my younger sister, Tina. She’s a junior in high school and is a quiet, disciplined, studious student. The problem is that our mother isn’t a normal mother – she’s an outgoing, fun-loving, partying lady! What concerns me is that Mom thinks Tina is letting life pass her by, so is encouraging her to attend parties where alcohol is served, go out with wild guys, all in the name of having fun. How can I help Tina not make a terrible mistake?’

“I’m having a problem with my sister, Anita. We are both working our way up the corporate ladder, and months ago set up to go to a business seminar together in a nearby city. We planned to drive there and back with each other and make a whole day of it. Last week she called and told me that while she will drive to the event with me, she’s going to go straight from it to a “girls only” party at a friend’s nearby cabin. I can certainly drive home alone, but it feels like she’s dumping me and part of our time together for something else.”

“At a family reunion last spring, my sister Leah and I decided we’d go see the fall foliage in New England this year. We thought this would be a fun thing to do together. Well, it isn’t turning out to be that fun. At least the planning stage. Leah doesn’t even want to plan! She just wants to get in the car and start driving. Every time I call her to discuss the trip, she says that part of the adventure is discovering what’s out there and we’ll take it as it comes.”

Dear Vicki: Dory and I have been good friends ever since we met while volunteering at a local pet shelter three years ago. We are a good team there: I organize the ever-changing base of volunteers and Dory keeps everyone upbeat and motivated. She always makes me laugh, and when I get really angry about something – which I tend to do —she has a way of cajoling me out of it.